Caring for the Caregiver

In many helping professions, we are taught to remember “the oxygen mask.” This common phrase refers to the rule of thumb of which flight attendants remind us — you must first apply your mask and attend to your well-being before you are effectively able to attend to others. Caring for ourselves as we care for others is one of the most essential things we can do.

As our pets navigate the aging process, they often lose their ability to do things that they had previously done, such as making it to the litter box or cleaning themselves. Our deep love picks up where our pets capabilities leave off and we begin to provide more and more intensive daily care. Somewhere between the many medication bottles, the carpet cleaning or the hand-feeding, we easily forget to properly care for ourselves – both physically and emotionally.

Research shows that caregiving – whether for a human or animal family member – can deeply impact our health and wellbeing. The exhaustion or stress involved in intense caregiving is often referred to as compassion fatigue, which can be characterized by feelings of negativity, over- or under-involvement in care, and difficulty coping with everyday expectations. It’s important to understand that feeling exhausted, depressed and even frustrated with your animal’s care is a normal and healthy response to the changes happening, but it is also important to take breaks to reflect on how you are coping and what you need.

You may be thinking “but, I can’t take a break from caring for my pet.”  You’re right in that caretaking is often a 24/7 undertaking and of course we aim to do whatever is possible to companion our animal through these changes. However, in order to provide our pet with the compassion and care that they need, it is essential to keep our own needs in focus as well. To start, try to enlist help from a supportive friend, family member or professional to share some of the responsibilities when possible. Take the time to tend to your health – eating healthy meals, getting some exercise, enjoying the sunshine on a beautiful day. Make a list and prioritize – focus on the here and now and save more trivial to-do’s for later.

When we take this time to care for ourselves, it allows us to cope with the changes of our pet’s old age and gives us the space to cherish the moments we have with them.